Wednesday, October 23, 2013

holding more than is able

It's not about whether they like you.

They will cry and roll their eyes and stomp their feet and pound their fists.

They may call you meatball head or stupid or lame or they will say they want to leave you.

They will ignore your directions.
They will talk back and argue.
They will fight and bicker.

And it's not about whether they like you.
It's about how you love them.

And you love them by pushing them to be better people.
You love them by believing they can be good people and expecting them to believe it themselves.
You love them by giving them everything you can.

And you love them by giving up your own need for validation or immediate success.

Because after giving them everything you have and then some more, you can't expect any sort of sign that what you did is good. Or that what you did was worth it.

It won't feel worth it.
It won't feel valued.

It will hurt. It will try you.
It will wear you down.
It will demand more of you than you have to offer.

And there won't be that glittering moment of affirmation.

And yet somehow you keep going.
And somehow you keep that belief in teaching.

"The courage to teach is the courage to keep one's heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able so that teacher and students and subject can be woven into the fabric of community that learning, and living, require."