damnit damnit damnit.
We are mad.
at ourselves. at them.
And yet, we find ourselves here again and again.
How do we accept and move on.
What is it we are supposed to learn from this struggle.
Maybe this had to follow us
so that we're forced to be mature enough
to not enslave ourselves to the idea of someone.
We never thought we'd have to learn this lesson.
I guess we're not all that different after all.
"Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room."[Sugar]
We aren't entitled to things working out.
And that hits hard.
When you finally-finally-finally-finally see that you aren't going to win this.
So, from our small, quiet room,
we see that we don't have control over them.
We see that these expectations set us up for a hard failure.
And after a dyad panic attack
(full on quivering, shaking, sweating... utter hysteria)
it's all a little more clear.
We will say hi to you.
We won't rip out pages.
Because, honestly, we had a hell of a time.
We'll try to set us free.
We'll try to expect a little less of you.
We'll try to accept and move on.
We'll try for us.
And for you.