Sunday, February 24, 2013


"I'll take the sadness. It's the frustration and sense of failure and the nagging notion that I'll never be enough that I find altogether less than pleasurable--the math of too much somehow adding up to not enough. Too emotional, too honest, too demanding, too picky, too much of too many things. Altogether, not enough. Somehow, still, not enough."

Friday, February 22, 2013

To be.

You've just got to be.

Nothing else.

We think we have to fill in the blank.

I've got to be fit.
I've got to be relevant.
I've got to be witty and smooth.
I've got to be beautiful.
I've got to be thin.
I've got to be known.
I've got to be accomplished.
I've got to be important.
I've got to be happy.

We think we have to be all these things when our reality doesn't always make that possible. So then we are left to bear disappointment.

We try to fill in the blanks.....when the sentence ends sooner than we make it.
I've got to be.

And yet on top of all of this, we have to act like all of these {fill in the blanks} don't matter.
Because I have also got to be "over it".
.....but we're not.

So then we are left with this tangled mess that we have to unravel bit by bit.
And just when you think you've untangled the knots, you realize there are more.
So we keep going. We keep untangling the knots.
With this faint glimmer of hope that we'll learn how to be.
And every once in a while you feel whole.
And you have that moment to hold onto and remember why we are untangling the knots.

I've got to be.

That's it. That's all I can be. That's who I should be.